Love To Leave You
by BigFatWitch
Summary: Cloud isn't the only one who gets to run away. Tifa's sense of selfpreservation kicks in and she finally decides that enough is enough. This story picks up right after the end of AC.
1. A Heartbreaking Smile

**Disclaimer:** Not mine. All characters and locations belong to Squaresoft-Enix.

**Author's note: **First of all,a big fat "Thank you!" to all those who reviewed my first fic, "Setting The Record Straight" (shameless plug, I know ;-p) You guys gave me the courage to continue writing. As for this fic, characters may seem OOC, and there are probably lots of plot holes (I'm absolutely hopeless when it comes to details) but I think I covered enough to make this story work. Also, in this fic, the bit in "Reminiscence" where Cloud calls Tifa and asks her to close the bar doesn't happen.

**Love To Leave You**

**Chapter 1: A Heartbreaking Smile**

Tifa Lockheart blew at her bangs which were partly obscuring her vision. She had been sitting at her desk for nearly an hour, doing paperwork and accounts for her bar, 7th Heaven. Normally, she would have left it for the weekend, but she wouldn't be around this weekend. Or the next. Or the one after that. Or any other weekend in the near future for that matter.

She looked at the picture sitting on her desk. It was taken in Aerith Gainsborough's church on the day Geostigma was cured. Ninja-girl Yuffie Kisaragi had somehow managed to produce a camera and had covertly taken pictures of everyone. The photo showed Marlene hand-in-hand with Denzel, with Tifa holding the little girl's other hand while Denzel was holding onto a blonde-haired man's hand. What she liked most about the picture was that she and the man were looking at each other over the children's heads, smiles apparent on both faces.

Tracing a finger over the man's face, Tifa was reminded of the conversation she had had with said man, none other than Cloud Strife.

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_On that fateful day…_

As everyone slowly filtered out of the church, Tifa lingered on inside, silently gazing at the back of the man she hadn't seen for months. Cloud stood at the water's edge, seemingly lost in thought.

When he finally turned and saw her standing there, she smiled at him. "Ready to go home?" After a beat, he nodded and together, they walked towards the church entrance.

His deep voice penetrated the stillness. "I saw her." Tifa knew straightaway who he was talking about and didn't interrupt. "She looked just the way I remember her. All this time, I've felt her with me, talking in that gentle voice of hers. But I've never seen her. Until today," he continued. She noted how _his_ voice sounded gentle as he spoke of the lovely but nevertheless dead maiden. "There was always a special glow in her, and the way she seemed to float when she walked."

Tifa nodded silently, trying to ignore the pang in her chest. It was true; she had noticed and perhaps even envied those traits in the late flower girl. And yet hearing the usually taciturn young man speak so highly of a woman she had at one point considered her rival for his affections was more than a little disquieting.

Tifa suddenly felt guilty. Not more than an hour ago, she had been thanking Aerith for watching over them, and now she was feeling jealous of her. She stopped in her tracks, trying to shake off feelings that seemed like a betrayal to the memory of their friend who had long since passed on. She willed herself to concentrate on the now, on Cloud's words.

"And I told her I'm not alone," the blonde-haired young man was saying. Noticing that she wasn't beside him, he turned around and faced her. And then with a smile on his face, he said, "She'll always be with us."

Tifa felt an irrational stab of fear in her heart. Was it just her or did the evening air suddenly seem so much colder?

"Ready to go home?" he asked. Trust Cloud not to notice the almost imperceptible change of emotion in people.

Vaguely, Tifa's mind registered that it was the same question she had asked him just moments ago. She nodded mutely in reply, and they both proceeded to walk out of the church, both quiet and lost in their own thoughts. Tifa felt a mixture of emotions coursing through her. A while ago, that smile would have brought joy and comfort to her. But after everything that had happened, it brought forth instead nothing but a mixture of dread, anxiety, and fear, and worse, a feeling of hopeless despair.

Perhaps it was the combination of his words and his smile. Or perhaps it was just his smile. After all, it was a smile that had been forever burned into her memory.

It was the same smile Cloud had on his face right before he left her and the children all those months ago.

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_Back to the present…_

Tifa was startled out of her reverie by the ringing of the telephone. Picking it up, she made a mental note to herself to have that much needed talk with Cloud. The sooner she did it, the easier it would be. But somehow Tifa just couldn't shake the feeling that no matter when or how she did it, it wouldn't make any of it any easier. Not one bit.

**_To be continued..._**

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**Author's note 2: **End of chapter 1. The smile i'm referring to in the last sentence is of course the one that Cloud had on in "Case of Tifa: On the Way to a Smile", which all Cloti 'shippers should read.


	2. Irony

**Disclaimer: **All characters belong to Squaresoft-Enix. Except Dave. He's mine!

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Chapter 2: Irony

It was after closing hours a couple of weeks after the near-doom and they were sitting outside on the steps of 7th Heaven, just spending time together in companionable silence. It was a ritual of theirs, even before he had left when he was infected with Geostigma. Usually they would talk about their day, the children, each other's business, and whatever crossed their minds. They had chosen this seemingly unremarkable spot for their nightly conversations because it had a sense of both home and the world outside.

Now that Cloud was once again living at 7th Heaven, they had simply fallen back into their old routine, and yet Cloud couldn't help but wonder if their roles had been ironically reversed. He felt like she was the one with the secret now. She was herself around Marlene and Denzel, but when it was just the two of them, she always seemed so distracted, so far away, particularly tonight. Cloud knew not to push her. She would tell him when she was ready. He just hoped that her secret wasn't anywhere near as serious as his had been.

Quite suddenly, Tifa stood up, and said, "Cloud, there's something I need to tell you." She was facing him, but her eyes were trained on her shoes. Her left hand gripped her right elbow. In his mind, her pose seemed almost defensive.

Cloud cocked his head to one side, leaning back on his elbows, waiting for her to continue. She seemed anxious, unsure; something rare for Tifa Lockheart. It looked to him as though she was waging a silent battle with herself. But then she took a deep breath, straightened and for the first time that night, ruby-red eyes met dazzling blue orbs.

"I'm leaving tomorrow." Her words took him completely by surprise. He blinked, sat up straight and automatically responded with: "Why?"

She looked away from him, and carried on as if he hadn't said anything. "Don't worry about the bar. I've taken care of all the paperwork and Dave will handle everything else while I'm away. And Denzel will be staying with Marlene and Barret in Corel for a couple of months, so that's been taken care of too. Of course you're welcome to stay in the apartment, if you still want..."

"Why, Tifa?" he cut over her prattle, standing up and fixing her with an intense gaze. "This isn't like you. And if I remember correctly, running away was my job," he added sardonically.

"I'm not running away," she replied hotly, head whipping up to meet his eyes. "I just need time to myself. I... I need to sort some things out. My life, for instance. After all that's happened, somehow I don't believe that this is how it's meant to be." She averted her eyes again.

Cloud was utterly and totally confused. Nothing she said was making sense. Well, he understood her need for time and space to figure things out. A lot _had_ happened recently. But he had assumed that everything was finally the way she wanted them to be; her life, their friends, their little family. Wasn't it? So why was she saying these things?

"But why leave?" he asked her. He wanted to help her, the way she did him. All she had to do was tell him what she needed. That's what best friends are for, right? And if he couldn't do at least that, then what kind of friend was he?

"Because you don't need me anymore," she half-whispered.

In a louder voice, she said, "You're fine now, right? Geostigma is gone, the children will be taken care of and you're not weighed down by guilt anymore. I'd say this is the perfect time for me to go, wouldn't you agree?"

"And besides," she said before she could stop herself, "at least I'm telling you before I go."

A second of profound silence fell between them before she realized what she had just said. Horrified, she clapped her hands to her mouth.

Blue eyes widened, as the implication of her words stung him. Hurt and guilt suddenly registered in his expression, and she wanted to kick herself for being the one to put it there. She sighed. "I'm sorry, Cloud. I didn't mean to say that. I just need to go. Because I can't be here anymore." Her shoulders slumped defeatedly, and again, her gaze was directed at her feet, her hair partly shielding her face from view.

"But why?" he asked again stubbornly, moving forward and gripping her upper arms with his gloved hands, resisting the urge to shake an answer out of her. He would hear the whole truth from her if it was the last thing he ever did. But even as he peered into her face, she refused to look at him, eyes hidden from him.

"Because," she said in a voice that suddenly sounded so incredibly weary to Cloud, "if I stay here, I'll never stop loving you. And I know now after all these years you'll never feel for me the way you feel for her. Aerith. We both know it. And it's killing me inside. So please, let me go while I still have the strength to walk away," she said, voice hitching slightly as she fought back tears that threatened to spill while her heart broke apart little by little in her chest.

Cloud was rendered speechless. He had no idea that she had been thinking those thoughts, let alone that she was in love with him. He took an uncertain step backwards, releasing his hold on the brunette. This time it was he who averted his gaze as Tifa searched his face for an answer. While he struggled to comprehend the magnitude of her words, she took his silence as a confirmation of her suspicions. Unable to withhold her tears anymore, Tifa turned away lest he should see her crying.

An eternity passed before he finally found his voice. "You're right." Tifa stood still, bracing herself as if his words were actual blows. "I could never feel that way about you," he stated simply, and with those words, his casual destruction of her heart was complete.

She had known it would come to this, but a little part of her had clung to the tiny shred of hope that he could at least love her, if he wasn't _in love_ with her. Their time in the Lifestream at Mideel had led her to believe in that hope and she had clung to it like a drowning man clings to a lifesaver. And to actually hear Cloud say those words was far worse than any physical pain he could have inflicted upon her. How ironic that the very person who threw her the lifeline would be the one to snatch it away from her.

As the reality of his words washed over her, something inside Tifa flickered and died. Perhaps it was the extinguishing of the last spark of hope in her soul. Or perhaps it was her soul itself.

With a cry of anguish, Tifa Lockheart fled into the night, leaving her shattered heart at the feet of the man who had unknowingly held it in his hands all those years.

_**To be continued...**_

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Author's note: Urgh... I hated doing that to Tifa, which explains why it took me a while to update. It's necessary, though. I haven't decided where to take this story, so let's just see what interesting twists I can throw in. Bear with me. It's an eventual (_inevitable) _Cloti.**Urgh... I hated doing that to Tifa, which explains why it took me a while to update. It's necessary, though. I haven't decided where to take this story, so let's just see what interesting twists I can throw in. Bear with me. It's an eventual (Cloti. 


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